So tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Wow, fifth blog already this month. That’s almost more then what I have written the whole year before that. My one faithful reader would actually have noticed this… well maybe. *pokes Valness*
I’m pretty sure I will end up going to Ottawa for University next year. I talked to people that I know from there and I realized that they would do whatever they could to make me feel at home. Having at least one friend there will make is easier. This whole situation is weird because I have never been worried about leaving home before. For all the places I have went and not had someone there with me, I shouldn’t feel like I do now. I’m guessing that just the whole idea of not being sure when I’m coming home to see the people I care about does scare me now. I’ve had the dream of leaving home for so long that I have come to the realization that I’m almost not a kid anymore. This is just one of those things that may seem great before, but once you actually start going through with it then you start doubting everything.
I just realized why I have been writing more this month. There have been more things that I have been putting off. Usually I just write a story or come up with a story idea, or go on msn and once in a really desperate moment I would clean up in order to procrastinate in doing unpleasant things such as homework. I haven’t written much lately at all, if anything. Recently I have been feeling more insecure about even just writing simple stupid stories that don’t actually reflect my ability as a writer. Even those really poorly written, over dramatized, bad use of the English language type stories that I wrote with Shanny oh so long ago, I can’t write anymore. Most likely its all in my head, actually I know it’s all in my head. Though inspiration has struck me many times, I have always had to put it off mid thought because it was those times where I had to get something else done first. It’s odd how the best story ideas come when you are the most busy and least likely to stop for anything.
What I really want is time off from life. I want to be able to sit around and do nothing without a care. I want to be able to actually finish reading all the books on my list and be able to watch all those movies and anime that I have yet to find time for. I want to sit and chat all day with the people I find most interesting. I want all my favorite songs to be ready to play when the mood strikes me to listen to them. I want to be able to sit and muse for hours over a story while nobody else is around to bother me. I think I just want what everyone else wants, to be happy.
- Dark Lily 0>--}---
Wow, fifth blog already this month. That’s almost more then what I have written the whole year before that. My one faithful reader would actually have noticed this… well maybe. *pokes Valness*
I’m pretty sure I will end up going to Ottawa for University next year. I talked to people that I know from there and I realized that they would do whatever they could to make me feel at home. Having at least one friend there will make is easier. This whole situation is weird because I have never been worried about leaving home before. For all the places I have went and not had someone there with me, I shouldn’t feel like I do now. I’m guessing that just the whole idea of not being sure when I’m coming home to see the people I care about does scare me now. I’ve had the dream of leaving home for so long that I have come to the realization that I’m almost not a kid anymore. This is just one of those things that may seem great before, but once you actually start going through with it then you start doubting everything.
I just realized why I have been writing more this month. There have been more things that I have been putting off. Usually I just write a story or come up with a story idea, or go on msn and once in a really desperate moment I would clean up in order to procrastinate in doing unpleasant things such as homework. I haven’t written much lately at all, if anything. Recently I have been feeling more insecure about even just writing simple stupid stories that don’t actually reflect my ability as a writer. Even those really poorly written, over dramatized, bad use of the English language type stories that I wrote with Shanny oh so long ago, I can’t write anymore. Most likely its all in my head, actually I know it’s all in my head. Though inspiration has struck me many times, I have always had to put it off mid thought because it was those times where I had to get something else done first. It’s odd how the best story ideas come when you are the most busy and least likely to stop for anything.
What I really want is time off from life. I want to be able to sit around and do nothing without a care. I want to be able to actually finish reading all the books on my list and be able to watch all those movies and anime that I have yet to find time for. I want to sit and chat all day with the people I find most interesting. I want all my favorite songs to be ready to play when the mood strikes me to listen to them. I want to be able to sit and muse for hours over a story while nobody else is around to bother me. I think I just want what everyone else wants, to be happy.
- Dark Lily 0>--}---
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