I really don't like being all stressed out and mean all the time. Please let me get through this so I can go back to becoming a nice person that isn't so cranky.

I like how some people think the world is all about them
Some people seem to think that every single one of my actions is based on them. If I don't go on msn for a while, it's because I hate them. If I don't email back right away, it's because I'm trying to rid myself of them and am just hiding myself and waiting until they go away. If I only have time for a 5 minute conversation its because I hate them. If I'm in a bad mood, it's because of them. Please stop! I don't have the energy to keep fighting and saying, no, I do like talking to you, you are my friend, I just haven't had time for anyone or anything fun in the longest time and this includes going on my computer for anything other than work. The time it's taking me to write this is my free time, the only time I have off to be sane. It's right now that I'm also replying to emails and going on messenger for those couple of minutes that seem to always get me in trouble. I don't even have time to spend with people here. My closest friends here aren't even that close because all I do is ask them for homework help or have random chitchat as we walk down the hall. My social time is during dinner when I grab someone to eat with and right after I have to come back here and do work because somehow the amount of work I'm doing still isn't cutting it and I've had to do so much more.
I am doing better now then I was even 2 weeks ago. I got a B+ on my English essay which is pretty good considering it only had one read over before I handed it in. I got 73% on my Bio Lab Midterm which is almost double what I got on the Lecture Midterm. For the next two weeks and this week I've been focusing on Psych since I have major stuff due each week for that class. I had my paper due yesterday, Midterm is next week, week after I have a presentation. Lovely.
- Dark Lily

My old friends
I miss having Keren to talk to all the time. I have people up here I can chat with, but there are some people that just know you so well that it's easier to talk to them about everything. Megs is cute and fun to be around too, but Keren somehow always manages to bring up something interesting and gets me thinking about things.
Lou hasn't been around much either. I told him to email me his addy but the brat hasn't yet. Somehow I doubt he will. He's busy in his own world. I'm just hoping that when he gets lonely that he will at least phone me.
-lily

What am I doing here?
I haven't done much work since getting here. Sure I've had to study and spent a couple days straight doing only that, but nothing compared to what other people were doing. That's obvious though because of my marks. I really need to do something about this.
- lily

You know... whatever.
Sometimes it's not even worth talking to people. I am so behind with everything and everyone is mad at me for not talking to them. I got a bloody 42% on my bio midterm and tomorrow I have the bio lab midterm on exactly the same stuff so well... I'm screwed now aren't I? I got 61% on my psych stuff. I just can't bloody wait until my english paper comes back. Thank goodness that doesn't happen for another couple weeks. People don't seem to realise that now I actually need to study. I need to catch up for the times I haven't done anything at all. They get mad at me for not replying to emails or even seeing that an email is there in the first place. They get mad when I'm not on msn or that I am but I can't talk because the only reason that I'm there is because I'm in a panic about a homework assignment and need to get it done. Whatever... really... whataver!
To all of you who will be mad at me for having time to write this out and not talk to you I say.. go screw yourself XP I would rather be on here yelling and getting my fustrations out then having a bad conversation with you and yelling at you. Be thankful I'm taking it out here.
- lily